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Updates Wednesday and Saturday at 8:30 PM EST
[Unichat log --]
(12:44)__RSPTN__: You've been dreaming about shatterpoints, followed by massive destruction?
(12:44)Padlock: Yes.
(12:44)__RSPTN__: Hmm. That's unfortunate.
(12:44)__RSPTN__: To be sure, you don't claim to understand what they are?
(12:45)Seabiscuit: Un- unfortunate how? D:
(12:45)Padlock: Well, I get the sense that they're something, uhm, bad somehow.
(12:45)Unum_Relicuum: Are you alarmed by the idea of destruction?
/message Seabiscuit Any guess how I should respond here?
System: Incoming private message from user Seabiscuit:
(12:45)Seabiscuit: ;^; Gaians like to blow up a lot of things, b- but I don't think they want to die...
/message reply Alright, let's give this a shot.
(12:46)Padlock: Not as such, no. But it feels like there should be a purpose to it. Everything ending all at once... What's the point?
System: Incoming private message from user Seabiscuit:
(12:48)Seabiscuit: Nnnnnnnnnnnn...
/message reply What's taking them so long?
System: Incoming private message from user Seabiscuit:
(12:48)Seabiscuit: Th- theological debate about your answer, maybe?
(12:49)Unum_Relicuum: The will of Gaia is to destroy. It is surprising that these visions would fill you with fear. Perhaps your faith is weak.
(12:49)__RSPTN__: Or, perhaps you have been gifted with a unique insight. Even Gaia's favorite prophets can rarely understand the totality of their visions.
(12:50)Padlock: I don't understand much of anything. That's why I contacted UR in the first place. I want to know.
(12:50)__RSPTN__: Then perhaps it's time we elaborate. A shatterpoint, put simply, is the vehicle by which Gaia enters a universe.
[Unichat log --]
(08:20)Admiral Pancake: Have you ever noticed that stories tend to change viewpoint right before things get interesting?
(08:22)silentconspirator: Hmm?
(08:22)Admiral Pancake: This... "Delta" person. I answered their inquiry promptly enough. What's the hold-up?
(08:22)silentconspirator: Hmm... Chronometric fallout from the pwnz3verse moon blowing up?
(??:??)pwnz2much: that should have settled by now
(??:??)pwnz2much: i haven't noticed any other time anomalies, either
(08:24)silentconspirator: Well, I'm sure there's a sensible explanation. Besides, once we rule the world, we can order them to explain. :)
(08:24)Admiral Pancake: I suppose we can. On that subject, how's progress on my new gun?
(08:25)silentconspirator: It looks like she's still familiarizing herself with her new surroundings. I think she'll be more amenable after hunger sets in. But I've got her AI subverted.
(08:25)Admiral Pancake: Not irreversibly, I hope.
(08:26)silentconspirator: Eugene, we've been over this before. It's a very superficial barrier. If the AI's internal state begins to suggest active rebellion, the system will temporarily route resources away from it. That's all. You don't need to micromanage me.
/message pwnz2much ooooooooooooooooooooooo
(08:26)Admiral Pancake: Very well.
(08:26)Admiral Pancake: It appears you were correct on other matters as well. I have a reply from Delta.
[Unichat log --]
/message Admiral Pancake I want us to work together. Your comment implies that their bothersome antics continue; I offer you closure to that problem. You could turn me away, but then I'd just have to find someone else wouldn't I? Your choice Panak; I'm already typing Theodore's username...
/message __RSPTN__ I hear you are a man of your word correct? Tell me: can you keep a secret?
System: Incoming private message from user Admiral Pancake:
(08:27)Admiral Pancake: Harrumph. You needn't invoke that particular nincompoop. You've already got me wrapped around your little finger. What must I do to earn your cooperation?
/message reply Are you certain? You must understand, my requests are not to be underestimated. Or perhaps I should go to him after all...
System: Incoming private message from user Admiral Pancake:
(08:28)Admiral Pancake: Are you blind?! I am literally asking you what you want! What more could you possibly want?!
System: Incoming private message from user Admiral Pancake:
(08:28)Admiral Pancake: I mean, besides whatever it is you actually want. You know what I mean.
/message reply Hm...
System: Incoming private message from user __RSPTN__:
(08:29)__RSPTN__: Oooooooohhh. Well, I've got lots of them already. As long as you're not looking to borrow one of them, we can chat. :)
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[Unichat auxiliary records --]
Xenocartographer (Official Note): Aaaaaand I've fixed the bug with ((Delta))'s name. The PMs between ((Delta)) and Arbiter will get resolved... soon, probably during Saturday's update. Stay 'tuned!
Xenocartographer: Addendum, since the issue's come up: Yes, the brown text is ((Delta)). edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: Dat page title

Oh gosh that first convo was truly tense feeling~~
Like, gosh, waiting for those responses~

"the vehicle by which Gaia enters a universe"... Huh. I wonder, if Rasputin isn't just like playing the Gaians and is a true Gaian cultist believer whatever, maybe that's why he's so accepting of his shatterpoint death status- He's fulfilling his role to Gaia?;^;

"(08:22)Admiral Pancake: This... "Delta" person. I answered their inquiry promptly enough. What's the hold-up?"


"/message pwnz2much ooooooooooooooooooooooo"


Hm! If Rasputin is so trust worthy, and never lies- Didn't he lie about the Nauticus? Saying he was mind controlled by Vampire?

"What must I do to earn your cooperation?"

Wow, Pancake sure sounds desperate!~

(Don't forget my PM to Rasputin about spess ships dear mapmaker~) edit delete reply
Arbiter: Holy crap, this is probably my favourite update in a very long time, for a bunch of silly and specific reasons.
1. Watching two sets of people with very similar text colours all have a conversation together delights me for some inexplicable reason.
2. Actual information about what shatterpoints are.
3. Pancake lampshading the cliffhanger. I laughed for a good minute.
4. Delta in general.
5. More specifically, how much Delta's pissing Pancake off. Bonus points for the use of the words "harrumph" and "nincompoop".
6. The promise that Delta and Arby's Roleplay Teatime™ is going to make it into the comic soon! I'm so excited!
Seriously Xeno, I love this. It's like my birthday, Christmas, and Hot Fuzz's release date all at the same time. edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: 1) Just for you, I'll do an all-conspirator page sometime.
2) Further information is unavailable here... but soon. Very soon.
3) Aww, thanks!
4) I honestly have no idea what they're planning, FWIW.
5) Pancake doesn't exactly have great people skills. He is, after all, food. Evil food, but still.
5a) Pancake isn't actually a pancake. That would be silly.
6) Have you noticed that I'm using close-parens instead of dots? Because I didn't. Oh, well. edit delete reply
((Delta)): /log save 08:26 08:28
/message --file="PanakLog01" OITHEOI
/message OITHEOI His desperation is amusing, no? I wonder what it is I could be asking of him...
/message _RSPTN_ Alas, I must ask of an honest man to prove himself first: tell me, do you truly believe in the religion of the Gaians?
/message Admiral_Pancake Your frustration amuses me ever so, here are your desperately wanted instructions: have your alternate destroy a measurable percentage of the earth, I am sure he has some part he could do without. And as promised: #vague-omnipresent-council. Enjoy~
/message _RSPTN_ Though I may not follow your ideals of truthfulness, I do however believe in paying upfront: Your newest interested party "Padlock" is a spy, as well as one of "Seabiscuit"'s friends. I do hope I am invited to witness their punishments~
/message _RPSTN_ P.S.: I do not borrow: I obtain.
/message Arbiter Deepest apologies for my rude disconnection. Let us continue, shall we? edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: Woah, playing all the angles~~~

I gotta wonder. Everyone whos pestering the chess club... No ones pestered Vampire yet! I mean, except Dellis asking her out, but I mean, trying to ally with her...~ edit delete reply
((Delta)): All in good time... edit delete reply
Arbiter: /message ((Delta)) Where the [censored] have you been? You've been gone so long the tea's gone cold! Is this how you treat your guests?
/message ((Delta)) Well, now that you can apparently be bothered to continue a conversation that you initiated, could I maybe trouble for some actual [censored]ing answers?
/message ((Delta)) Like, I get that acting all ominous and mysterious is kinda your "whole deal" or whatever but being an irritable son of a [censored] is mine and the riddles are starting to wear real thin.
/message ((Delta)) Clearly you invited me here for a reason, and unless that reason is to troll me with vague, conspiratorial nonsense, you have yet to give any substantial answer as to why.
/message ((Delta)) Who are you, what do you want, why am I here, and, if I may ask without prompting you to disconnect on me again, what the censor-dodging F~U~C~K did you mean when you said you were "going to get my friend back"?
/message ((Delta)) I get that you type in brown, but could you please just cut the bull[censored]? edit delete reply
((Delta)): /message Arbiter You want me to speak frankly, then let me speak frankly: I have been busy waiting on a response from some tech geniuses. As for your questions...
/message Arbiter 1 - I am Delta, I am change. You fight, and you squabble, and you build bigger and better things to one-up each other in a perpetual to-and-fro of shifting power. But in your unequivocal assurance of your future statues of honor; you poured your foundation upon those lesser. You alter time, so sure of your right to do so; that you never even thought about the consequences, about the risks you were taking.
/message Arbiter 2 - I want take what all of them have; to see their faces as they lose everything that matters to them.
/message Arbiter 3 - You are here because all of that; is the work of others, but you and your council... is a variable. In a universe of repeating constants, you are a new factor. How do you do it? How is it that you can change things? My bet is on even you not being able to answer that.
/message Arbiter 4 - What I meant is that in your scrambling to aid your heroes and heroines, I have been working to return them to you. Setting-up the dominoes, as it were. So you can question me and my motives after Sonja is safely sent home.
/message Arbiter Is that frank enough for you? edit delete reply
Arbiter: /message ((Delta)) Yeah, that was pretty frank, actually. A bit too purple for my taste but whatever.
/message ((Delta)) (I mean purple as in full of flowery language not as in the colour because obviously I have no problems with that.)
/message ((Delta)) So, um, thank you, I guess.
/message ((Delta)) So you're change, eh? Or I guess ((change)). And if I understood you correctly you're all about knocking down a bunch of manipulative fat cats who think it's okay to oppress us and I guess screw with time too? I suppose I can respect that.
/message ((Delta)) And like of course I'm not a part of a "council" or anything because believe it or not not everyone is part of a conspiracy.
/message ((Delta)) But if I was, — and again, I'm not saying I am — I'd probably want to make sure that you aren't going to screw us over like those douchebags you mentioned who are pouring foundation upon those lesser or whatever.
/message ((Delta)) Because I'm not in a conspiracy but if I were in a conspiracy I certainly wouldn't be in one that did stuff like that. I believe in the right of every human being not to have foundation poured on them.
/message ((Delta)) And also of course I don't know who Sonja is but if I did and she were in trouble I'd be very grateful to anyone trying to help her.
/message ((Delta)) So, hypothetically, thank you again, I guess. edit delete reply
((Delta)): /message Arbiter You are hypothetically welcome~ edit delete reply
Arbiter: /message ((Delta)) But, since we're talking in hypotheticals here, would you indulge me in discussing a purely fictional scenario?
/message ((Delta)) Let's say I were part of a secret organization. Let's call them the Arbiter Club. And let's say the Arbiter Club cared about the same things that you claim to. One of their goals is to put a stop to the plans of certain other powerful figures who don't have the best interests of the public at heart.
/message ((Delta)) But let's say that in this scenario, you don't know that. You've seen a few examples of how the Arbiter Club operates, but you don't really know what their end goal is or how they do what they do. They are a mystery to you. Let's say that in an attempt to understand these people and their motivations you reach out to one of their members, maybe even their "best member", someone so cool and charismatic that they hypothetically named the whole organization after this person...
/message ((Delta)) Sorry, I'm getting off topic.
/message ((Delta)) Anyway, the point is that in this scenario, you don't really know much about what the Arbiter Club is trying to accomplish in the long run, but you do know a few of their more short-term goals. Like, for instance, trying to rescue a hacker girl from a greedy billionaire who is holding her captive.
/message ((Delta)) And unlike the Arbiter Club, you do know exactly what this hypothetical billionaire wants. He wants to pour foundation on people, take over the world, and possibly destroy it as well. He is everything you claim to oppose.
/message ((Delta)) You may not know much about the Arbiter Club yet, but you do know that in at least one respect, they are also in opposition to this aforementioned hypothetical villain.
/message ((Delta)) So tell me, Delta, if you really care about the best interests of the people, what would you do in this hypothetical scenario? Would you recognize the Arbiter Club as a potential ally and avoid attacking them until you are at least certain that they deserve to be attacked?
/message ((Delta)) Or would you offer to give the confirmed enemy of both of you information which could destroy the Arbiter Club, without even knowing if you are costing yourself a powerful ally as a result?
/message ((Delta)) The logical answer here seems obvious, but I have a feeling you might surprise me.
edit delete reply
Arbiter: Hey Xeno, did you move this page to the end of the order on purpose? It's cool if you did, just wondering. edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: N- no, I didn't. Hmm.

EDIT: Fixed.

Okay, so, here's what happened. I had to edit this page to make a link in 119 (unreleased as I'm writing this) work. I also had to tweak the timestamps on 119 due to missing Saturday's update. It looks like I made a typo when calling the script that caused it to change this page's timestamp as well, and since ComicFury sorts pages in timestamp order, that moved it to the end.

I bet the xkcd guy doesn't have these kinds of problems. edit delete reply
Arbiter: Well, looks like you've fixed it now. I guess Etamnanki's a pretty unreliable thing to build your webcomic on. edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: "I guess Etamnanki's a pretty unreliable thing to build your webcomic on. "

edit delete reply
eekee: raspy expostulating authoritatively on gaia in the presence of a gaian leader? he just gets more and more *interesting*! edit delete reply