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Updates Wednesday/Saturday, 8:30 PM EST
[Unichat log --]
(13:40)System: User Admiral Pancake is joining #legitimate-offer-cave.
(13:40)Admiral Pancake: Report!
(13:41)bloodshoes: well
(13:41)bloodshoes: purged what i could, sent takedown requests for the rest
(13:41)bloodshoes: all the private [censored]'s gone
(13:42)Admiral Pancake: Good. Hard drives?
(13:43)bloodshoes: scrambled
(13:43)bloodshoes: hardware's smashed
(13:43)bloodshoes: set up Bulwark to take the fall for the viruses
(13:43)bloodshoes: i think we're good
(13:44)Admiral Pancake: Well done. You have my gratitude.
(13:43)bloodshoes: :)
System: Incoming private message from user silentconspirator
(13:44)silentconspirator: Boss?
(13:44)bloodshoes: so... money?
/message reply Report!
(13:45)Admiral Pancake: Yes. About that.
(13:45)Admiral Pancake: Your performance has been more than exemplary. I believe I owe you a raise.
(13:45)bloodshoes: :o
(13:45)bloodshoes: aww, thanks, man
/message reply Report, [censored] it!
(13:45)Admiral Pancake: What would you call fair?
System: Incoming private message from user silentconspirator
(13:46)silentconspirator: Haha, okay
/message reply Hurry up! I can't keep this idiot talking forever!
(13:48)bloodshoes: i... oh gosh
(13:48)bloodshoes: this means a lot to me, you know?
System: Incoming private message from user silentconspirator
(13:48)silentconspirator: Ship's ready :)
/message reply FINALLY! Took you long enough!
(13:49)Admiral Pancake: That's too bad.
(13:50)bloodshoes: huh?
(13:50)Admiral Pancake: See, I... was keeping you talking while I screwed you over.
(13:50)Admiral Pancake: You're about to be charged with child pornography. Over the course of the investigation, the prosecution will discover records of many illicet business dealings... and attempts to frame an honest philanthropist, namely myself, for them.
(13:51)Admiral Pancake: Please understand I take no pleasure from this. I did not wish for our relationship to end this way. But someone has to take the fall, and I'm too important.
(13:51)Admiral Pancake: If it's any consolation, my agents in the court system will protect you from the worst.
(13:51)Admiral Pancake: I'm sorry. It's just business.
/message reply On my way.
(13:53)bloodshoes: what the heck, man
System: User bloodshoes has been BANNED (reason given: law enforcement compliance).
[--------]
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[Unichat auxiliary records --]
Xenocartographer (Official Note): What slice of life comic?
negativeR0b0t: a new character! this guy seems cool and interesting. i like him already edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: It's Pancake~~ ( I gotta say the channel name "legitimate offer cave" always makes me snicker...) ... W-woah! D: T-that... That's SO harsh oh gosh, I hope he gets out of it eventually... ;~; edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: You haven't seen the last of bloodshoes. edit delete reply
Catalystyc: Watch out Sonja! You may have company. Even though Commander Pancake is almost certainly a villain, I still don't think that OITHEOI is entirely committed to the straight and narrow either. The compatibility with the ancient Python, for example, makes me wonder if he found something, stole something, or brought back something that he himself hid. edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: Those sure are theories you're having there. I wonder if any of them are onto something~ edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: (I haven't forgotten about your PM on CF, btw! Just busy busy busy.) edit delete reply
Catalystyc: Considering the word count, a swift reply would be the cause of greater concern. Thank you for taking the time. edit delete reply
ThereIsNoExit: Hello, author. I'm commenting here for the first time, just to say how much I like this comic... chat... log... thing. I've been looking for this kind of stuff a lot. It reminds me of my old times on game forums. Since then I've found Homestuck's pesterlogs and SUPERHOT's ggroups.exe hacking chat. That was realy cool. And now I've found this and I love it.
Not only the form but you managed to make those incorporeal voices of the net alive and believable.
I'm going further. Keep up the good work.

=) edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: Aww, thanks! I'm not going to deny that Homestuck is something of an influence, but the original idea for Unichat actually precedes (my awareness of) it, amusingly enough. edit delete reply
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Unichat © Patrick Coffman | Hosted on ComicFury