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Updates Wednesday and Saturday at 8:30 PM EST
[Unichat log --]
(10:45)Admiral Pancake: Such a reaction!
(10:46)pwnz0rz: well
(10:46)pwnz0rz: ur fkukzing w sonja
(10:46)pwnz0rz: so
(10:46)Admiral Pancake: On the contrary, though I was afraid you'd have that impression. Your friend is in danger.
(10:47)pwnz0rz: o
(10:47)pwnz0rz: tbh thast not tthe stuppidest thing ive rheard resently and mayeb i beleive the stupider thing
(10:47)pwnz0rz: idk
(10:47)pwnz0rz: uve all been telling me alot of thing
(10:47)pwnz0rz: s
(10:47)pwnz0rz: idk
(10:48)pwnz0rz: yo red pnacnake dude
(10:48)pwnz0rz: im alll metaphor ears
/message pwnz1ng You're right - this iteration is even less tolerable than the one I'm familiar with.
(10:49)Admiral Pancake: Acknowledged. This is something of a long story.
System: Incoming private message from user pwnz1ng:
(??:??)pwnz1ng: :P
System: Incoming private message from user pwnz1ng:
(?:??)pwnz1ng: uve got this, im gona lie in bed and lok at teh cieling but not mangae to fall asllep
(??:??)System: User pwnz1ng has disconnected.
(10:49)Admiral Pancake: It all comes down to physics, really. Your friend doesn't know it yet, but her job is a physics experiment. The software development story is just that, a story. Unfortunately, the discovery her boss is secretly interested in is equal parts illegal and apocalyptic.
(10:50)pwnz0rz: nah
(10:52)Admiral Pancake: "nah"?
(10:53)pwnz0rz: nah
(10:53)pwnz0rz: like
(10:54)pwnz0rz: nah
(10:55)pwnz0rz: pefrectly comomn word
(10:55)pwnz0rz: i even spelled it proprly
(10:56)Admiral Pancake: Your friend is in danger. How are you ignoring this? You were so willing to swear at me when you supposed the danger was me, and yet you won't even consider helping her against an actual threat?
(10:57)pwnz0rz: sonjas smart
(10:57)pwnz0rz: if ur rite shell figure it out
(10:58)pwnz0rz: if ur not......... well ur not
(10:59)Admiral Pancake: I can't believe this.
(10:59)Admiral Pancake: Okay, listen. Do you remember putting a coffee cup behind your monitor?
(11:00)pwnz0rz: nah
(11:00)pwnz0rz: funnee things is, three is one
(11:01)pwnz0rz: ok i think that tpyo turnd me catholic but u no wut i mean
(11:02)pwnz0rz: ist a darker raost then i usually liek but p good anyway
(11:03)Admiral Pancake: ... You're drinking it?
(11:03)pwnz0rz: man
(11:03)pwnz0rz: or woman idfc
(11:03)pwnz0rz: u shoodnt tleleport coffee 2 me if u dnot want me too drink it
(11:03)pwnz0rz: no wut i mean??? im basicly a black hole 4 this stuff
(11:04)pwnz0rz: black like teh cofee, do u c wut i did there
(11:04)Admiral Pancake: How long ago did you notice this?
(11:04)pwnz0rz: 10:49
(11:04)pwnz0rz: and 12 seconds
(11:04)pwnz0rz: this isnt even me slillying, ist rite next 2 my clock and i awlays notise times
(11:04)pwnz0rz: and then yo people r telling me i need 2 "larn 2 pwnz time"
(11:04)pwnz0rz: isnt that fuuny?
(11:05)Admiral Pancake: I would have expected you to say something.
(11:05)pwnz0rz: wlel u epxepctecated wrong
(11:05)pwnz0rz: istn that smoething
(11:05)pwnz0rz: fkufk it, im laughing 2 much 2 type
(11:06)Admiral Pancake: ...
(11:06)Admiral Pancake: Frankly, I fail to see the humor. The clock is ticking on your friend Sonja getting herself in serious trouble. Personality modeling indicated that you should find this utterly compelling. What gives?
(11:07)pwnz0rz: ur ridiculous
(11:07)Admiral Pancake: What?
(11:07)pwnz0rz: i mean
(11:07)pwnz0rz: ur ridiculous
(11:07)pwnz0rz: is this gong 2 b like the time u dindnt no teh wurd "nah"
(11:08)Admiral Pancake: ...
(11:08)Admiral Pancake: Were I making everything up, I would have no way to deliver that coffee cup to your desk.
(11:09)pwnz0rz: man bth my parnents are on teh iolathne mission lol
(11:09)pwnz0rz: i no al abut weird physics [censored] like this
(11:09)pwnz0rz: but that [censored]'s clafssissified so w/e
(11:10)Admiral Pancake: Iolanthe has functional teleportation?
(11:10)pwnz0rz: ican neithur confrim nor deny that
(11:10)pwnz0rz: ok i can deny it
(11:10)pwnz0rz: but theyre doing weird quatnum stuf i no
(11:11)pwnz0rz: so idk, teleportirs doesnt suprise me
(11:12)Admiral Pancake: ... Quantum teleportation is both theoretical and completely unrelated to the teleportation of matter, you complete and utter imbicile! This isn't some science fiction, where any impossible effect can be hand-waved as "quantum mechanics"! Reality doesn't work like that!
(11:12)pwnz0rz: realalilty also doesnt work liek teh boss of a cmompnany try 2 scam a kid in2 betrayting his friend 4 some reason
(11:12)pwnz0rz: but hear we r
(11:13)Admiral Pancake: A thousand damnations upon your obstinance!
(11:13)System: User Admiral Pancake has disconnected.
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[Unichat auxiliary records --]
Xenocartographer (Official Note): So here's a question for y'all to speculate on. Did pwnz just save them a lot of grief, or was Pancake actually telling the truth for once?
Seabiscuit: I wonder how much Pancakes head hurts and how he must cringe trying to read this dudes text and deal with him. Oh god though I laughed so hard at the first PM and teleporting coffee comments... And I don't know what it is, but the "nah" in white text coming from Pancake destroyed me. And that last line!!!
Man I just don't know. I feel like Sonjas true danger will be Theo vs Pancake shenanigans. edit delete reply
legendaryCasserole: come on Eugene,youre better than this. edit delete reply
Laon: pwnz's typing style is straight awful to read, and it must be a pain to write. I want to say poor pancake, but I'll only really feel bad for him if he isn't actually a villain and telling the truth here. edit delete reply
Text: honestly pwnz0r has just skyrocketed up in my favor edit delete reply
:D: Protein: if you read misspelt words really fast, it's easier to read. edit delete reply
eekee: Nutrients are indeed essential to good reading ability. Proteins in particular may be considered analogous to pro-tips. (It took me a minute to realize that's what you meant. XD) edit delete reply
eekee: hahahahahhaha pwnz is my FAVOURITE irritating gamer! edit delete reply