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Updates Wednesday and Saturday at 8:30 PM EST
[Unichat log --]
(13:11)OITHEOI: I'm calling in a favor.
(13:11)GodsOfOlympus: Which one?
(13:11)OITHEOI: The Nauticus. This is serious.
(13:12)GodsOfOlympus: You certainly know how to make an impression.
(13:12)OITHEOI: I'm in a hurry. I need you to intervene in a certain law enforcement action a matter of server integrity.
(13:12)GodsOfOlympus: If I'm discovered using that clause in bad faith, I'd be up on a UN tribunal. No.
(13:12)OITHEOI: Fine. Iolanthe.
(13:12)GodsOfOlympus: The Iolanthe mission serves my ends as much as yours. Try again.
(13:13)OITHEOI: The Nauticus incident was Rasputin, not Vampire. He feigned possession to shift the blame. I have proof.
(13:14)GodsOfOlympus: Are you telling me that because it's true, because you want me to think it's true, because you want me to think you want me to think it's true, or simply to provoke a reaction? Frankly, I don't care. The incident could have been precipitated by Mongolian dire fruitbats and my sole concern would remain data integrity.
(13:14)OITHEOI: Gods [censored] dammit, I don't have time for this!
(13:14)GodsOfOlympus: The more you insist on that, the more likely I am to drag this out.
(13:17)OITHEOI: Fine, all of them!
(13:17)GodsOfOlympus: All the favors?
(13:17)OITHEOI: YES!
(13:17)GodsOfOlympus: And you'll owe me one afterwards.
(13:17)OITHEOI: Go to hell.
(13:18)GodsOfOlympus: Is that your final answer?
(13:18)OITHEOI: Very little isn't worth not dealing with your smug arrogance any longer than I have to!
(13:20)GodsOfOlympus: Pithy insults work better if they don't take multiple readings to parse. Which criminal investigation am I to interfere with?
(13:20)OITHEOI: It's in Maine, America. The target's a professor at Algernon University.
(13:20)GodsOfOlympus: That's near a canonical shatterpoint, if I'm not mistaken.
(13:21)OITHEOI: You can look it up for yourself. Professor Greg Blackwood, arrested on charges of underage pornography.
(13:21)GodsOfOlympus: ...huh.
(13:23)OITHEOI: God no!
(13:23)OITHEOI: The charges and evidence are all fabricated. You can rest easy knowing you're actually fixing a miscarriage of justice.
(13:23)GodsOfOlympus: And what do you want me to do?
(13:23)OITHEOI: Get me a confidential line to him. No tracers, not even yours.
(13:24)GodsOfOlympus: Not even mine? I'm afraid that's technologically impossible. I can promise to erase the logs without reading them, but you'll have to take my word it.
(13:24)OITHEOI: Fine.
(13:24)GodsOfOlympus: Pleasure doing business with you.
(13:24)OITHEOI: Wish I could say the same.
(13:25)GodsOfOlympus: I was being sarcastic.
(13:25)OITHEOI: Pleasure doing business with you.
(13:25)GodsOfOlympus: You catch on quickly. If only the same could be said of not bothering me with your inane quarrels.
(13:25)OITHEOI: The political and/or metaphysical dominance of humanity is at stake!
(13:25)GodsOfOlympus: As I said. Inane quarrels.
(13:27)OITHEOI: You're messing with my head.
(13:28)GodsOfOlympus: Believe that if you wish. Now that you owe me a favor, I'm calling it in.
(13:28)OITHEOI: That was fast.
(13:29)GodsOfOlympus: The Russian destroyer Сатирический is operating on the Indian Ocean. Expunge it.
(13:34)OITHEOI: What?
(13:34)GodsOfOlympus: It should hardly be a challenge. Use whatever assets you desire. I'm curious to see what you come up with. Then we'll be even.
(13:35)OITHEOI: Uh. If you're sure.
(13:35)GodsOfOlympus: And meanwhile I will see what I can do about your prisoner. Agreed?
(13:36)OITHEOI: I feel like I'm walking into a trap.
(13:37)GodsOfOlympus: I honestly have no concern with you. None of your fellow Alexander wannabees would care. I do.
(13:37)GodsOfOlympus: Are we through here?
(13:38)OITHEOI: I think so.
Leave a comment
[Unichat auxiliary records --]
Xenocartographer (Official Note): It may be worth cross-referencing Iolantheor Professor Blackwood on our handy-dandy search page. You won't find anything on the Nauticus (and even if it did, it wouldn't have anything to do with Etamnanki), and Alexander is historical.
Seabiscuit: Ahh, this page pleases my eyes with all the blue... Gosh, it's so WEIRD seeing Theo lose his cool for once- He always seems so very sure of himself. ..-snerk- Inane quarrels. :D OMG YES, YES, BLOOD SHOES, YES!! JUSTICE SOON! ;~~~~~~; edit delete reply
Guest: I searched Nauticus and I've concluded my boyfriend is the biggest goddamn dork edit delete reply
Guest: That was me, Seabiscuit, not logged in... edit delete reply
Arbiter: I love how subtly you've built up the world of this comic, and how you've managed to present its science-fictiony elements through character dialogue, rather than through explicit exposition. The fact that the characters talk about these things without explaining what they are both makes the dialogue seem more natural and keeps the reader wondering what's happening, and I love it! I don't know what the heck is going on, but I love it! edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: And I was having such a crappy day, too. Thanks, friend.

But answers will be coming, I promise. :) edit delete reply
Arbiter: "Thanks, friend." "Friend." Alright, if we're friends, then...
Hey Xenocartographer, there's this cool webcomic called Unichat you should read!

...There, that's everyone!

...I'm not sad. edit delete reply
KittenLicks: I'll be your friend, Arbiter! :3 edit delete reply
KittenLicks: ...but only if you read this cool webcomic called Unichat. ^_^ edit delete reply
Arbiter: :) Lol. Man, I love this comic's community. edit delete reply
KittenLicks: Typo alert!
"I can promise to erase the logs without reading them, but you'll have to take my word it." My word for it?

This webcomic is basically the only webcomic I read these days. I just love your characters to bits. :) edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: Huh, nice catch! And gosh, y'all make me feel so legit~

get your friends involved edit delete reply
endsoftime: Interesting! Can't wait to see what happens next. edit delete reply
SansFinalGuardian: just breezed through all 57 pages in one day. gj, keep it up! :D edit delete reply
FallenLeaves: "Wannabe Alexanders" makes me think of this quote (lifted from Wikiquote but from Plutarch originally):
Alexander wept when he heard Anaxarchus discourse about an infinite number of worlds, and when his friends inquired what ailed him, "Is it not worthy of tears," he said, "that, when the number of worlds is infinite, we have not yet become lords of a single one?"
And they have an infinite number of worlds, and are trying to conquer them all. edit delete reply
RavenZeroak: and that's how worldwar X started. edit delete reply
eekee: i nearly BSODed when i started reading this page. i was so sure they were the same person. // ... and now i'm not sure goo is human. :) edit delete reply