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Updates Wednesday/Saturday, 8:30 PM EST
[Unichat log --]
1:14 AM | System | Your friend Empress_Of_Silence has connected.
1:15 AM | Empress_Of_Silence | Eugene, aren't you ever coming to bed?
1:15 AM | Pancake_High_Admiral | Of course, my Queen. I'll be there shortly.
1:16 AM | Empress_Of_Silence | You're never getting tired of that medieval chivalry, are you?
1:17 AM | Pancake_High_Admiral | It seems fitting, given our current accommodations - and your propensity for ladies-in-waiting.
1:17 AM | Empress_Of_Silence | Ruling the world does have its perks, doesn't it?
1:18 AM | Empress_Of_Silence | I just wish a husband with a stronger sex drive were among them.
1:19 AM | Pancake_High_Admiral | You know I'll ravish you just as soon as I'm done downstairs. It's as hard as it is perky.
1:19 AM | Empress_Of_Silence | And what has my Lord so distraught? Are there peasants in need of oppressing?
1:20 AM | Pancake_High_Admiral | Oh, Matilda... You know we only oppress the bad guys.
1:20 AM | Empress_Of_Silence | Except when it's funny :P
1:21 AM | Empress_Of_Silence | I know what you mean, though. I'm still concerned about China... and [censored]ing you would help take my mind off it.
1:23 AM | Pancake_High_Admiral | We have many enemies, Mattie.
1:23 AM | Empress_Of_Silence | And which ones have you so fascinated right now, hm? The People's Republican Front? Or is it the Republican People's Front? I can never keep those straight.
1:24 AM | Pancake_High_Admiral | The RPF don't scare me.
1:24 AM | Empress_Of_Silence | So who does? The Underground? The Society for Pissing on Panak's Grave? Who's got you so wound up that you'd ignore your beloved Queen?
1:25 AM | Pancake_High_Admiral | I don't think it's any group you'd be familiar with.
1:26 AM | Empress_Of_Silence | You're going on the offensive, aren't you? Ruling one Earth isn't good enough.
1:26 AM | Pancake_High_Admiral | I'm not going to lie to you.
1:28 AM | Empress_Of_Silence | But what about lies of omission? Hypothetical deities, Eugene, I thought we'd come to an understanding on this one. Can't you let enough be enough? We dreamed about doing the impossible as children. Please let me enjoy it, just tonight.
1:30 AM | Empress_Of_Silence | I know you well, and I understand your desires. I... can't say I know what to make of them, but I know this is something that means a lot to you. But can it stay out of our bedchamber, at least?
1:31 AM | Pancake_High_Admiral | I've upset you.
1:33 AM | Empress_Of_Silence | I miss the way things used to be, back before we won... I miss plotting together.
1:34 AM | Empress_Of_Silence | Remember that time in Istanbul?
1:34 AM | Pancake_High_Admiral | Hells, yes. I really thought Vampire had us.
1:34 AM | Empress_Of_Silence | Good thing your wife knows how to improvise. :)
1:35 AM | Pancake_High_Admiral | I believe you were my fiance at the time. But yes. It was a good thing indeed.
1:35 AM | Pancake_High_Admiral | I can still remember the look on her face when she realized she'd been outmaneuvered.
1:36 AM | Empress_Of_Silence | Vampire is a dear. Do you know I still visit her in the dungeons sometimes?
1:36 AM | Pancake_High_Admiral | Fraternizing with the enemy? I suppose I'll have to allow it. How is she?
1:37 AM | Empress_Of_Silence | Oh, you know, she misses not being chained up under a medieval castle, but pretty good otherwise, I'd say. She's made a request for Earl Grey tea, incidentally.
1:38 AM | Pancake_High_Admiral | I don't see any harm in that.
1:39 AM | Empress_Of_Silence | What about when we forced the EU chancellor to surrender?
1:40 AM | Pancake_High_Admiral | That one never gets old. Though I suppose I should feel guilty about going after his daughter like that...
1:41 AM | Empress_Of_Silence | We've done worse. Feel bad about keeping Gods on life support all these years :P
1:42 AM | Pancake_High_Admiral | The world needs examples.
1:42 AM | Empress_Of_Silence | It's so ironic, isn't it? He thought he had everything figured out, and then we happened. I don't think anyone saw that happening.
1:43 AM | Pancake_High_Admiral | Playing insignificant has its advantages. It worked pretty well for OITHEOI.
1:44 AM | Empress_Of_Silence | Damn that blue devil! Do you really think he's still alive?
1:45 AM | Pancake_High_Admiral | I think ruling out the possibility without solid evidence would be foolish.
1:45 AM | Empress_Of_Silence | Fair enough. But with him possibly out there, plus the PRF, Underground, SPPG, and whatever else there still is out there, do you really want to try to invade another timeline right now?
1:46 AM | Pancake_High_Admiral | Going on 2:00 AM might not be the best time for talking about this.
1:46 AM | Empress_Of_Silence | No, it's time for you to come to bed. Work will wait. But in... ten minutes, I'm going to pack up the bondage gear, put on a frumpy nightgown, and go to sleep.
1:46 AM | Pancake_High_Admiral | *Pancake_High_Admiral sighs.*
/dismiss "operation_blow_up_the_moon.txt"
1:47 AM | Pancake_High_Admiral | Upsetting you is the last thing I'd want to do, my Queen. I'm on my way.
1:47 AM | Empress_Of_Silence | I'm glad, my Lord.
1:47 AM | Empress_Of_Silence | :)
[--------]
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[Unichat auxiliary records --]
Xenocartographer (Official Note): AND THEN THEY BOTH PORKED

Y'all wanted to ship my villains, so... have an in-universe romance AU, however that works.
Seabiscuit: Hehehehee, the shipping is much appreciated, these two are.... Cute?;) The King/Queen thing is hilarious~ And I gotta say, as fucked as Pancake is, it's nice he feels something for someone...
...I actually feel kinda bad for Silent (Yay! Name get!); I dunno, I mean, of course she's evil too... But, still. They won. They have it all. They're married. All of their enemies defeated (AND YOU'RE SO EVIL FOR WHAT YOU DID TO VAMPIRE AND GOO ;^;)... And it's just getting better for them! ...But her king is just so greedy... He has to rule ALL THE TIMELINES. I was wondering why the Pancakes were helping each other, but, I guess, it really is just greed. And he's gonna ruin it for them both, probably. I wonder if Silent and Pancake will get like, one last cute moment together, to say goodbye before their probably inevitable death... ;^;
...Actually, question, can we send messages to the folks in this alternate timeline?? edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: Ruining things does seem to be Pancake's modus operandi. I think he'll end up seeing himself as a tragic hero.

As for cross-timeline messages - well, you'd need some way to identify which timeline you want to send a message to, wouldn't you? Hm... edit delete reply
Arbiter: Okay, perhaps this is a weird detail to focus on, but I can't stop thinking about how Gods is "on life support." That could mean all kinds of different things happened to him, but at any rate he's in no condition to serve as head admin of Unichat now. So is PHA here the new head admin? And if so, is that why Unichat looks so weird in this timeline? Eugene didn't like the old interface, so he made some changes to it when he took over? ("Panichatâ„¢! Like Unichat, but with a 12 hour clock, more vertical bars, and more surveillance software!")
You see, I'm kind of wondering when the two timelines diverged. If Panichat always looked like this, then they would have had to have diverged before Unichat (the network, not the comic) was created. But if it looks this way because Panak changed it, the divergence could have happened much later. edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: "Okay, perhaps this is a weird detail to focus on, but I can't stop thinking about how Gods is "on life support." "

I knooowwww, right? ;-;
He's probably a horrible villain too but I can't help but feel bad for him. And, Vampire, too... ;~; Locked away, Rasputinless...

Also the idea of Pancake taking over Unichat and making it Panichat is friggin' hilarious

Makes me wonder though- How long has Unichat actually been around? Hmm. edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: Unichat was created after the Gaian war, as an attempt to create a platform that could unite all the disparate networks that still remained intact. By providing a low-bandwidth protocol and a portable client that could be compiled for just about anything, Gods helped rebuild crucial comm systems that in turn helped with reconstruction. This is why the protocol has such importance in, say, the UN. edit delete reply
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