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Updates Wednesday and Saturday at 8:30 PM EST
[Unichat log --]
(13:18)System: User silentconspirator is now ACTIVE.
(13:18)silentconspirator: So, uhm, I bumped into Sonja in the hallway. She seemed... distracted, but I got confirmation that she's not going anywhere for the next several hours. Does that help?
(13:18)Admiral Pancake: To an extent. Are you two on friendly terms?
(13:19)silentconspirator: Well, I've only been here a few days. :P But nerds tend to hang together, and we've chatted a bit. I think she's got a generally good, if not particularly close, impression of me. Does that help?
(13:20)Admiral Pancake: Yes. I'm afraid of staying up here any longer than I have to, so we'll need to move ASAP.
(13:20)silentconspirator: Huh? Why?
(??:??)pwnz1ng: look @ teh log D:
(13:24)silentconspirator: Huh. I dunno, Eugene, DeepDark could just be confused.
(13:25)silentconspirator: Still worrying :/ So what's our cue? Still the pwnz3-verse version of you killing the moon?
(13:25)Admiral Pancake: Yes, which should be any hour now.
(13:26)silentconspirator: Haha, alright. Well, I'll look into keeping an eye on Sonja until then.
System: Incoming private message from user Seabiscuit:
(13:27)Seabiscuit: Admiral Pancake, Hello there. You don't know me, but I'm a potentially valuable asset. I have a lot of information to offer on Rasputin as proof.
(13:27)Admiral Pancake: Good. Thank you, Mattie.
(13:27)silentconspirator: Np! <3
(13:28)Admiral Pancake: Hang on, I'm getting a strange PM. Querying...
/query Seabiscuit

(13:28)System: Initiating private chat with active user Seabiscuit.
(13:29)Admiral Pancake: I'm terribly busy right now. Make this quick.
(13:30)Seabiscuit: Well~ For example, he's extended his shatterpoint protection to Theo for blowing up a ship that, unknownst to both of them, contains MrE. GOO has set them both up to start trouble with each other, telling Theo to blow it up and Rasputin to stop him.
(13:31)Admiral Pancake: This sounds more like useful information on everyone but Rasputin.
(13:31)Seabiscuit: Ho~ True, I suppose!
(13:31)Seabiscuit: The point is, I've got an "in" with him, and I'm totally willing to use that to my advantage...~
(13:32)Seabiscuit: So it's to your advantage to make working with you in mine, capiche?
System: Incoming private message from user BookOfQuantumFlux:
(13:32)BookOfQuantumFlux: I know about your little feud with Theo, and about Rasputin, and Vampire, and the rest of your coterie. I know what you did to bloodshoes. I know what happened to him afterwards. I know how athena works, about etamnanki, about the divergent timelines. I know a lot of things. As for the means of my knowing them, that is for me, myself and I to know.
(13:33)Admiral Pancake: And BookOfQuantumFlux is the stick, sent to bully me into compliance if the carrot of bribery doesn't work.
(13:33)Seabiscuit: Huh?
(13:33)Admiral Pancake: "I know about your little feud with Theo, and about Rasputin, and Vampire, and the rest of your coterie. I know what you did to bloodshoes. I know what happened to him afterwards. I know how athena works, about etamnanki, about the divergent timelines. I know a lot of things. As for the means of my knowing them, that is for me, myself and I to know."
(13:34)Seabiscuit: No idea!
(13:35)Admiral Pancake: Yours is not the only strange message I have received recently. I'm sorry, I had hoped to narrow one of them down.
(13:35)Admiral Pancake: In the interests of getting one of these strange arrivals on my side, I will let you prove your worth to me.
(13:36)Seabiscuit: Oh~?
(13:36)Admiral Pancake: Find out what Rasputin's doing in Russia. Bring proof. Then we can talk.
[Unichat log --]
(12:56)Seabiscuit: HEY wait wait what about The Satirical? D:
(12:56)__RSPTN__: Ah, the very thing you contacted me about in the first place?
(12:57)Seabiscuit: Yes!
(12:57)__RSPTN__: I was wondering when you'd remember to bring that up. :)
(12:58)__RSPTN__: Well, it's hardly essential to my plans, and messing up Gods' plans is reward on its own. I guaranteed that the attack will succeed, but left it vague beyond that - the ship could surrender, or it could sink slowly enough for everyone to evacuate, or it could blow up and kill everyone, or spontaneously turn into a badger...
(12:59)__RSPTN__: Does that answer your question?
(13:00)Seabiscuit: I- hm......
(13:00)Seabiscuit: A- and what if none of those things happen?
(13:01)__RSPTN__: Then the universe conspires to kill me, and since I'm not at the right hand of a tyrant, a shatterpoint is missed and everybody dies.
(13:01)Seabiscuit: D:
[Unichat log --]
/connect net.thoien.secure
resolving server name...
found server net.thoien.secure
WARNING: this server requires a security token to connect. input token?
token request waived by remote admin
connection established
(13:03)System: This is OITHEOI's inner circle. This system has sanitized 104 would-be attackers - fuck with me at your peril.
(13:03)System: Welcome back, Arbiter! This is your first login!
(13:03)System: You are currently in channel #main-lobby.
(13:03)Arbiter: ...?!
(13:03)OITHEOI: I assume you're referring to the MoD? There was a time Gods was very big on gaining access to this system - at immense materiel cost, as you can tell.
(13:03)Arbiter: About that. I must ask, are you sure this is completely secure? Are you certain that we can talk in private here, safe from the prying eyes of mortals and gods alike? For the eyes of men see little, but the eyes of gods see things that most presume are hidden to all.
(13:03)OITHEOI: Oh, I see. Your concern was not with Rasputin monitoring us, but with Gods.
(13:04)Arbiter: Yes.
(13:04)OITHEOI: Rasputin and Gods have one dramatic similarity, which is that they never outright lie. They will manipulate words, but if they tell you something directly, then it is the truth, as they understand it.
(13:04)OITHEOI: Gods has promised not to spy on any of our conversations, and I actually do trust him.
(13:05)Arbiter: You just said he tried to hack into this server...
(13:05)OITHEOI: Yes, but when he made that promise, he did specify "on the main Unichat server".
(13:06)Arbiter: I see.
(13:06)OITHEOI: Now, you said you had information for me?
[Unichat log --]
(13:55)silentconspirator: Hey, you're back. What was that about?
(13:55)Admiral Pancake: I've forwarded you the log. What do you make of it?
(??:??)pwnz2much: probably the right call
(??:??)pwnz2much: if this deep book biscuit conspiracy is... anything, it's a worrying anything
(??:??)pwnz1ng: whydoes that sound like a thing id say???
(??:??)pwnz1ng: if teh thing is a real thing, ist a scary real thing
(??:??)pwnz1ng: so much thing
(??:??)pwnz2much: ...
(??:??)pwnz1ng: i jibber when im nervosu
(13:59)silentconspirator: And all the time!
(??:??)pwnz1ng: nervous
(??:??)pwnz1ng: [censored] u 2 sc
(14:00)silentconspirator: Hey, ribbing aside... no one said taking over the world would be easy, yeah?
(14:01)silentconspirator: Let's stay calm, kidnap a schoolgirl from the moon, mess with some other kids of random cosmic significance, and then we'll have a better idea where to go from there.
(14:01)Admiral Pancake: I couldn't have put it better myself. You are truly a poet.
(??:??)pwnz1ng: heh
(??:??)pwnz1ng: yeah, ok
(??:??)pwnz1ng: man tho
(??:??)pwnz1ng: i hop pwnz0 is legit
(??:??)pwnz2much: i don't
(??:??)pwnz2much: two of us is infuriating enough
(??:??)pwnz1ng: [censored] u 2 other me
(14:08)silentconspirator: Right, I'm signing off now - you know the drill.
(??:??)pwnz1ng: yup
(??:??)pwnz1ng: ill go... watch for the other moon blowing up i guess
(??:??)pwnz2much: and ill stay on top of affairs down here
(??:??)pwnz2much: luck doesnt exist, but good luck anyway
(??:??)pwnz1ng: yaeh
(??:??)pwnz1ng: lest go cick smoe [censored]!
Leave a comment
[Unichat auxiliary records --]
Xenocartographer (Official Note): Oooooh, got this one up seconds before the deadline... Well, y'all, you've got a mystery-themed dad to save, yeah?

And Sans, I wasn't really sure how to respond to /help - you want to shoot me a PM on the forum?
SansOfTheUnderground: damnit, why did BoQF's message and Seabiscuit's have to turn up at the same time? i think just stick would have worked better with Pancake. seriously, now Pancake knows there's a conspiracy, which literally cannot be good in any way whatsoever. don't let on any sign that you know about BoQF at all.
and i don't trust the thing about Rasputin and Gods not lying. if you go down that route, Gods could just get someone else to spy on them and react accordingly. 0_0
/message GodsOfOlympus endsoftime was generally pretty ordinary. open, friendly, funny. if they were working on anything unusual, they never gave away any sign of that to me. edit delete reply
Wildcat: Any reason we shouldn't warn Sonja about the whole kidnapping plot guys?
I would be inclined to warn Pwnzorz or future Sonja to minimize chronology problems. edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: I was wondering the same! Maybe, like with Bloodshoes, it's too late...
She can't well get off the moon, after all. ;^; edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: "(13:19)silentconspirator: Well, I've only been here a few days. :P But nerds tend to hang together, and we've chatted a bit. I think she's got a generally good, if not particularly close, impression of me. Does that help?"

Gosh, Sonja confirmed for knowing what SC looks like~
Also, "Mattie"! Eeeeeee!!

I wonder if Rasputin could fake his own death...

"(13:03)System: This is OITHEOI's inner circle. This system has sanitized 104 would-be attackers - fuck with me at your peril."


I gotta say, Gods and Rasputin are very interesting. This whole 'tell the truth' thing, I mean. I dunno, that's a cool little detail. I'll have to keep close watch on how they word things...

And holy shit I adore Pancake, SC and the Pwnzes chats... :D :D

/message __RSPTN__ So, the dear breakfast pastry wants to know what you're doing in Russia, and to bring him proof. What do?
(Also... Um... Regarding those loopholes... How would one go about using one, to save someone on the ship?) edit delete reply
Arbiter: This. Changes. Everything.
Rasputin ensured the attack would SUCCEED, not fail? Crap. The inevitable failure of the attack was one of the only things I thought I knew for sure. I guess Rasputin isn't as afraid of getting busted for the Nauticus incident as I was counting on... Or maybe getting busted for the Nauticus incident is what "had to happen"? Raspy seems to know the future to some extent...
If Rasputin really doesn't directly lie, it seems obvious that I have to go back on what I said and tell Theo to attack the ship. The only other option seems to be some sort of apocalypse scenario. I guess the best option here, in terms of saving lives, is to tell MrE to surrender as soon as the attack starts, tell Theo to evacuate all personnel aboard the ship as soon as a surrender occurs, then sink the ship once nobody's aboard (I imagine that last bit will be of value to him, because it will mean he's technically "expunged" the destroyer and he doesn't owe Gods any more favours.) But I'm a bit leery of that, because then Theo will have MrE, and I don't trust him any more than I trust Gods. Maybe I could try to convince him that doing anything with the people aboard the ship, other than conveying them safely to shore, would not be in his best interest. I might still have that bargaining chip that I can turn Sonja against him if something bad happens to MrE.
But will that mean anything if Sonja gets kidnapped? Should I tell Theo about that? Would he be able to do anything about it?
And now that Team Pancake suspect that there is a conspiracy, and that DD, Sb, and BoQF are all in on it, throwing info like that around has become significantly more dangerous. I'm worried about giving away clues that Seabiscuit and I are working together.
In order to reduce the ease with which the Chess Club can tie things together, I think I'll use an alt when I contact MrE, like Seabiscuit suggested. But before I do anything, what are your thoughts on the situation, guys? edit delete reply
Wildcat: Ooh! Telling Theo about Pancake's kidnapping plans might be a good idea, though it runs the risk of Theo deciding she's an important chess piece if he hasn't already. I think we should try to avoid seeming too interested in her to the chess club, it could give them leverage.
As for the attack on the ship, can we arrange for a neutral party to be in the area? It could allow for the people on the ship to escape without leaving them in Theo's mercy. We also might be able to warn MrE and tell him the ship will go down (must go down) and to arrange for an escape pathway. Perhaps we can get MrE to escape and Theo to rescue the rest of the crew. (That would be delicious)

I can contact future Sonja with a warning and some information if I do it today, but would like to avoid becoming known to the chess club for the moment. edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: "I can contact future Sonja with a warning and some information if I do it today"

Hmm, y'know, I wonder how much power Future Sonja has? I mean, you'd think her and future Pwnz would just be like "Yo, Sonja, watch out and stuff", but they're just sorta sneaking around and watching from the shadows... I wonder if they have to avoid fucking things up too much or something? edit delete reply
Wildcat: I think they do, which is part of why I'm leery of contacting SonjaOfTheMoon directly, because they have *plans* and I'm a little scared of messing them up. Do you think it would be better to be direct?
what if the person she obviously shouldn't trust is us? edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: Well, I mean, it's worth a try- I'm rather curious to see how she'd respond, too, hheeehee! I wouldn't worry too much anyhow, Xeno won't let us fuck things up beyond repair~ edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: Both of these ideas intrigue me immensely. edit delete reply
Wildcat: We hope.
Well, here goes nothing
/message SonjaOfTheMoon
Sonja, this is going to sound weird, but I need you to trust me. Admiral Pancake is on the moon. One of his allies, "Silentconspirator" has replaced and impersonated the new IT engineer in order to get close to you. They intend to kidnap you. They want to use you and your friends as pawns in a twisted game of chess. If you need proof, this should be more than enough (http://unichat-comic.com/comics/85/ this whole conversation between pancake and sc)
/message SonjaOfTheMoon
I will help you as much as I can, but it won't be much. It is critical that you don't tell anyone about me outside of your circle of four. No one.
(And for the finale)
/message SonjaOfTheMoon
And hey, Athena! It's an honor to meet you, take care of the moon girl for me will you? edit delete reply
Arbiter: Alright, I guess it's time to flood the comic with even more indigo.
/message OITHEOI Alright, I've managed to gather more information about what Rasputin's done, and it's a bit of a surprise, to say the least. Gods tasked Rasputin with protecting the Satiricheskiy, using his knowledge of the latter's involvement with the Nauticus incident as leverage. I guess he was trying to play you two against each other. I knew this from the start, and it's why I thought you had set yourself up for failure by going to Rasputin for help, but it now seems that for some reason that cyan trickster has decided not to try and appease Gods. He's guaranteed that the attack will be a success of some description.
/message OITHEOI I know you take pride in avoiding collateral damage, unlike some of your associates. I too value human life. I think we both want this to go down with as few casualties as possible, correct? The crew of this ship have done nothing wrong, they just ended up caught in Gods' scheme. I want them spared, and I know that Rasputin's plan allows for the confrontation to end in a surrender on the Satiricheskiy's part. Shortly after the attack begins, the ship should surrender. I trust that I don't have to tell you, as a man of honour, that you should make no further efforts to attack the ship after this has taken place. If you want to meet Gods' demands of you (to "expunge" the ship) then you can do so by evacuating the crew, bringing them to shore, and destroying the Satiricheskiy once no one is aboard. No lives need to be lost.
/message OITHEOI And again, I'm sure I don't need to tell you this since you take no pleasure from bloodshed, but attacking the crew of the destroyer beyond what is strictly necessary has the potential to turn Sonja against you, leaving you without an AI. I trust that those aboard the ship are correct to believe that if they surrender, they will all be able to return to land safely? If you give me your word that you won't harm them, I will give you the information I promised you concerning the spy.
If Theo promises not to hurt any of the crew, I'll also send him the following messages:
/message OITHEOI The one who calls himself DuckKingKarl is a spy. He's working for Pancake, and he seems to have developed an AI of his own. Sonja's AI (what's it called, Athena?) has the potential to do great things, and you'll definitely need it now that Eugene's got one too.
/message OITHEOI And on the topic of Sonja, there's one more thing I should probably tell you. I heard a rumour recently that Pancake plans to kidnap her. Supposedly, it involves him and some of his cronies sneaking onto the moon. I think one of them was supposed to disguise themself as an IT engineer or something? I don't know, it's a pretty outlandish-sounding plan, but I figured I ought to tell you about it anyway. It's probably nothing, so I doubt it's worth telling Sonja about, but who knows, it might be worth checking out. It would really suck if you went through all this trouble to keep Sonja on your team (and save lives, of course) only for her to get kidnapped. edit delete reply
judge-of-character: /message MrE i'm sure you've figured out by this point that you're in danger. soon the satirical will be attacked. when that happens you must surrender immediately. its the only way to keep yourselves safe. you can't win the battle and if you don't surrender you will be destroyed. if you surrender you will survive. trust me on this. for your daughter's sake. there may be people who might also wish to kidnap you. i've heard talk that the satirical is carrying cargo that some people want and if no such inanimate cargo exists then the cargo is almost certainly yourself. surrendering will keep you alive but it might not protect you from kidnappers. if it is at all possible you might want to try to make arrangements to get off the ship before the attack happens. sooner is better than later. even sending this message to you might have tipped off the kidnappers so stay vigilant. be very careful. but know that if anything happens to you i will do everything in my power to help. that is all i can tell you. get off the ship. make sure the crew surrenders when the attack comes. and be on the lookout. good luck. edit delete reply
Wildcat: Nnnnng It is going to be soo awesome seeing the results of all of this when I get back. edit delete reply
eekee: woooow! you're putting way more into this than i could! it's fun seeing it happen, actually, but that 'woooow' is just at the length of your post. :D edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: Can I just say that seeing y'all theorize and scheme like this is amazing? It really warms my cold authorial heart, y'know? edit delete reply
Wildcat: >.>
Can I send a transcript of the chat logs we can see to a character? Characters have linked us to chat logs before, but linking a whole page wouldn't be very selective. I could always try "quoting" it. edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: Hey, Wildcat! Yes, you can do that. Unless it's a particularly short message, the easiest way is to link the comic page itself and indicate (to me) what part you want - I'll do some magic to make it make sense in-universe. edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: If you have further questions, you can shoot me a PM on our forum~ edit delete reply
Seabiscuit: "my cold authorial heart"

You mean your cold cruelest mapmaker heart~? edit delete reply
Arbiter: Oh yeah, probably should have mentioned this earlier, but my text turns gray midsentence for some reasom while I'm talking to Theo. A mistake, I assume? edit delete reply
Xenocartographer: Fixed. Backslashes are hard, okay? edit delete reply
Arbiter: Lol. Don't worry, it's fine. edit delete reply
eekee: (13:01)__RSPTN__: Then the universe conspires to kill me, and since I'm not at the right hand of a tyrant, a shatterpoint is missed and everybody dies.

*rubs forehead* i hate time travel stories. and yet i'm still reading. this is pretty good stuff, xeno. edit delete reply